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12 Ways To Destroy a Smartphone

destroy phone

I have caused my fair share of phone deaths over the years. I dropped one on the pavement because I was busy juggling too many things. Another drowned in an entire large sweet tea from McDonalds. Yet another just gave up on life for no apparent reason. So, I decided to put together a list with 12 ways to ensure your smartphone is destroyed.

  1. Microwave it – Despite that hoax that went around the internet in September, microwaving your phone will not recharge it. It may, however, unleash an unspeakable evil. Oh, and it will destroy the phone too. Obviously.
  2. Leave it in the car – Just like children, ice cream and small dogs, your phone does not do well in extreme heat. Cold is equally bad for all of the above (except ice cream) so avoid at all costs.
  3. Teach it to fly – Fun fact: Phones have a fear of flying, and will instantly explode out of fright upon landing. Or maybe they’re just super breakable. Who knows.
  4. Work it to death – You might be a workaholic, but your phone isn’t. If you don’t restart it at least once a week, then the phone might go postal or simply give up.
  5. Wear skinny jeans – The back pocket of skinny jeans has been known to be a cause of mass phone screen genocide. For the sake of all phones out there, stop skinny jeans before it’s too late!
  6. Give it to a toddler – Toddlers are great with delicate, expensive telecommunications technology. No, really. Give it a try.
  7. Use cheap cases – Those cases you see on stands in the mall and markets might be cute, but that’s just about all they’re good for.
  8. Take it to the bathroom – Talking on the phone and using the bathroom is kind of like walking and chewing bubble gum. Some people can do it while others can’t. But until you drop you phone somewhere gross, you won’t know which kind of person you are.
  9. Wash it – Phones are dirty and full of germs. But, no matter how disgusted you are to touch that device, throwing it in the wash is not recommended… unless you’re looking to turn it into a statement paperweight.
  10. Root it wrong – I’m not talking about dirt here, but the process of reprogramming your phone. It’s easy to do wrong, and can be pretty much unfixable if you mess it up.
  11. Step on it – How would you like to be stepped on? Yeah, your phone likes it even less.
  12. Run over it – Surprisingly, in a game of chicken between phones and cars, the phone does not come out on top.

What fate did your last broken phone meet? Share with us in the comments!